MOMiTs Gone Wild!

You see her sitting up on a pedestal. She cooly stares you down. There's a black cat in her arms, which she gently pets as she grins wickedly at your raid. She whispers something to the cat. Something about new toys with which he can play. There's another curled at her feet with eyes so bright and alert as if he's daring you to come closer. He raises one paw, extends his claws and casually cleans his paw.

Your tank starts to walk in a little farther. Suddenly, he's hit upside the head by something from the back! You watch as a disc circles back around and nails a healer and a ranged dps. They're all stunned in place. Your raid is shocked. What just happened? You spin around to find another paladin catching the disc, which you now recognize as a shield, blocking your way out. What is it with this place and paladins?! And is this one female? Nice midriff...mmmm.

The off tank reacts quickest and charges. As if in slow motion, you watch the paladin lower her shield, infuse it with some great power, lower her shoulder and raise it into your offtank's face to send him flying and land on the ground flat on his back. Oh crap.

The next thing you know the paladin sprouts glowing wings and has raced into the midst of your clumped, unprepared raid group and dropped an aoe. Everyone's health slowly ticks away. Two tanks are incapacitated, one healer is still stunned when a second healer is hit with something that stops him mid-heal. The paladin continues to lay out people with her shield, drain health with her aoe, and crush faces with a big hammer that's nailing 3-4 people at a time. She taunts the raid. She has an awfully deep voice for a woman.

Finally, a tank is up and attempts pulls the paladin away but she seems to be targeting specific raid members and won't follow very easily. When she manages to kill one of each class present, you hear a little ding and cheer from her, "Yes, another achievement; I'm ahead again!"

The paladin is nearly down, this fight is won! You'd forgotten about the woman on the pedestal, so has the entire raid. Nobody's paying her any mind. But she chooses this time to rise from her seat, causing her cats to hiss in displeasure. The paladin is full health! Morale drops. WTF. She's a priest?! And her cats have entered the fray, too! One is jumping face to face, biting and scratching at the face, causing a blind effect and bleed damage. The second is racing around scratching at ankles and knee caps, which causing everyone's movement to be slowed. Every time somebody attacks the cats, the priest screams to leave her babies alone and does an aoe dot.

By now your own healers' mana pools are dwindling. This paladin can take a beating. And now has a healer. Quick, focus fire the priest!

"No," she yells! "I don't like tanking! Get these things out of my face!" She screams again, sending the melee fleeing in all directions. The ranged are unaffected. They continue to dps her. But then you notice something strange, the paladin is getting bigger and stronger. For every bit of damage done to the priest, the paladin's hit points and damage rise dramatically. Her shield seems to be thrown about more and more often, stunning more of the raid.

Eventually, the raid leader makes the call to ignore her except through a series of interrupts. You focus on the paladin, who gets knocked out first. Then it's a matter of dealing with fears and taking out the priest. She does a few mind controls but it looks like she misses that fairly often. Clearly, she lacks hit gear. But she gets one off and a melee takes out a healer. This is going to be close. She drops. Phew. The cats are easy, if you can ever target them. Squirmy little things.

But then the priest rises again. She's now a ghost, or angel...as much of an angel as evil raid bosses can be. What is she casting? The angel disappears but the paladin is resurrected! She only has 10% health from the rez but, wow, that aoe is taking out the raid in 3 ticks. DON'T STAND IN IT! And her attacks are swinging like crazy, almost as if she's frenzied at the loss of a loved one.

The tanks bounce aggro around the room to keep out of the aoe, melee is forced to give chase. Ranged pops any remaining cooldowns and exhausts their mana. She goes down with only 1/3 of the raid left standing.

Master looter goes to the bodies; all he finds are vanity pets. What a waste of a raid night!