MOMiTs Gone Wild!

So, with the patch come and gone, and with the announcement of new cat and bear forms, I thought it apropos to post a wishlist of sorts, since , as pre Blizz's MO, they didn't really do anything to moonkins ( at least htey fixed the T8 4 set bonus.) So, without any further ado, let's get on with it , shall we?

10. Give back our 5% 4 pc bonus

 Seriously. Bad enough you took it from us, but you gave it to...warlocks? So you gave us their Nightfall, and gave them our 5% crit. Two words for you Blizz. Up yours.

9. A quiet corner to cry in

See #10

8. New weight loss system

It seems obvious that moonkins need to lose weight. Regardless that some* people enjoy to hear my anguished moonkin hoot when I get hurt, it would make it easier to move if I had a lot less weight to move. A fit and svelte moonkin = dps machine.  Just don't use  Richard Simmons as "inspiration".

7. Tom Jones "Sex Bomb"

Know that episode in Family Guy where Peter wishes he had his own traveling music? Same thing, except I want it to play when I dance.

6. Moonkin form usable on mounts

Come on, I should be able to ride my Wintersaber tiger, or my Green Proto Drake, while still being in moonkin form. My thighs and my derriere might suffer some rashes, but that's what various oils, creams, and lotions are for.

5. New spell/attack - giant feather of doom

Pretty self-explanatory. Moonkin specific talent that lets us pluck one of our decorative feathers, enlarge it tenfold, have it gain the density of lead, and canbreak through shields. Usable out of combat, on non-flagged characters, and even on same faction. Gains +500 weapon damage upon breaking any pally shield or bubble.

4. Hello Kitty Tattoo

Know how druids have all those tattoos while in bear form, or kitty form? Well, I want the ability to stamp a Hello Kitty tattoo anywhere on my body ( up to and including my feathery ass). It would be a snarling Hello Kitty, of course ( we do want to be taken seriously, and not be a laughingstock)

3. Moonkin Endgame Boss

This is a much needed addition to the game. Really, how hard would it be to say, make Malfurion turn into a moonkin , or perhaps even as a precursor to him, have a moonkin in the style of Vezax/Sapphiron, acting as the final gatekeeper to Malfurion. ORRRRRR....have a moonkin guarding the entrance to the Emerald Dream.

2. Josh Groban's "In Her Eyes"

See #3. Nothing would be cooler than that song playing in the background, while the moonkin ( with righteous fury at the desecration of  hallowed ground) just beats the tar out of those who think moonkins are Oomkins, steal loot from cloth weares, steal priest staves *cough* and can't dps for shit.

1. Pink Moonkin model

Were not talking hot pink here, a darker tone would suffice, something like a deep cerise, or a fuschia pink. Moonkins need more flair, I think. And if anyone laughs at that, I'll break every single bone in their body, make them bleed through every orifice in their body, and use their ass to wipe their blood off the floor. Just sayin'.

That managed to kill off 45 mins of work, so huzzah. Hopefully next time I can talk about more serious stuff, like gear comparisons, or the Lunar/Solar rotation ( which i'm still undecided on). Ta-tah for now, and if you made it all the way to the end, you need to be more selective  on what you choose to read. ciao!

Back for more goodness, I see. Let's dive right in..

So you want to head on to Naxx and smoosh some stuff right? Well homie don't play the impatient and unprepared game. But that's why you're here, to learn from the master ( a moment while i swear i can hear a million HaHaHaHa's going on from somewhere...).

Stat allocation

Generally your stat priority will be hit > spl dmg > haste> crit > everything else, till you're hit capped. Then its spld dmg > haste > crit, etc. The number you need to know is 263. That is the hit cap you want assuming IFF/misery and that you have Balance of power, which you will, right? if you have a draenei, that numebr goes down to 235, but we're an independent bunch that doesn't rely in outside factors like having a space goat. The spell hit cap is 17%, with talents we bring it down to 13%, then another 3% form IFF/Misery brings it down to 10%, with the Draenei buff its 9%.

I also understand that we have a lot of procs that depend on crits, but keep in mind that we already have some crit talents that don't show up on the character sheet, and haste needs less points than crit to equal 1%. Again, if  you want numbers, it takes approx 33 haste rating = 1% while it takes 45 crit rating = 1%.  haste is much better for us in that it scales very well with starfire, our main damage dealer, and it also reduces the gcd.

Gems

You will want only straight spl dmg gems with the exception of two blue gems, to fulfill your meta-gem requirements ( which will be Chaotic Skyflare, 21 crit rating and 3% increased crit damage is a no-brainer). For the blue gems you will actually want purple gems, the +9 spl dmg/ +8 spirit kind, Purified Twilight opal. Beyond that, Runed Scarlet Ruby (or whatever the +19 spl dmg is ) is your BFF. Alternatively, you can use the +9 spld dmg/ +8 haste, but only if the bonus is something along the lines of +4-6 haste or +4-6 spl dmg. NEVER GEM FOR +INT , STAM, CRIT OR....MP5. Just don't, please.

Talent Build

My proposed build addresses the main problem you are likely to face with being a fresh faced 80, and that is namely +hit and mana. here is the link:

http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/info/classes/druid/talents.html?tal=50320031253313032133050012310000000000000000000000000000020500331200000000000000000

Now there are some points that you can switch around, such as putting pts into Dreamstate if you seem to have mana issues still. The build I linked addresses mana issues, helps you with the hit cap, let's you do some decent AoE, and let's you hit things with style. Again, if you have managed to get hit capped or have a decent amount of crit, until you get the 2 pc T7 bonus, Insect swarm probably won't be of use so you can switch those points to whatever you like, either the aforementioned dreamstate or even Brambles for more treant power.

I might as well include glyphs here, your 3 major Glyphs should be the Starfire glyph, the Moonfire glyph, and for now, the Innervate Glyph. Again, the innervate Glyph is conditional, if you prefer you can also use the IS glyph. minor glyphs are lackluster, perhaps use the Rebirth one to save yourself bag space, and maybe the Dash one , but it won't make or break your spec.

Rotation

Don't be a mage or an aff lock and micro manage your rotation to the last millisecond. That will come later. For now, your rotation will be:

Faerie Fire > MF > IS > SF till your buffs are about to fall off, then refresh them and repeat.

However, you do not have to re-apply IS unless you are in a movement heavy fight, or you know that you will be moving soon. The loss of a gcd is not worth it. Before other moonkins argue, rememebr that this is based on a non-eclipse rotation, and my personal experience was that upon hitting 80 I was not able to sustain that kind of rotation. As people like to say, your mileage may vary, but this is my blog, so i'll write what I damn well please.

Fine....here;s what an eclipse rotation would look like:

IFF > MF > IS > then spam Wrath until you proc Solar Eclipse then Starfire till it runs out. repeat.

A word of advise, once the proc runs out, that is the only time you should refresh your dots, and only cast Starfire until the internal cd of eclipse has passed, then repeat your Wrath spam. The cd is 30 secs, get Squawk and awe to help you with the timing.

That's about all the time i have for now, I will delve into gear issues next time, and a more advanced form of moonkin dps. In closing, here are some tips to further help your dps:

If you have a trinket that has a +spl dmg proc ( like the Sundial), wait for the proc before casting Starfall to maximize its damage. If you know you are going to use heroism/bloodlust, cast your trees a couple of secs before they call for it, you'd be surprised how much damage those trees can dish out. On fights like Thaddius where movement is king, refresh your dots only when you are moving, this will give you the max time for dps. Stand at max range whenever possible, you would be very suprised at how much damage, and more importantly pushback, can be outranged when you stand 35 yards away from the boss. Don't be those casters who stand 15 feet away from a mob who is continously doing arcane explosions. Lastly, speed potions are divine, but do not use them when heroism is up. You'll end up clipping SF and losing dps time.

Till next time, I leave you with these words of wisdom...

" A wise man once said " Clear Vent" and there was silence.  Another man said "Eat, Eat" , and there was nary a hungry soul, but food buffs a plenty. Another deigned to say "Roll", and rolls were aplenty, and all was well. Then a chicken stood before the multitudes of unwashed heathens, and spoke three words that forever changed the world..of Warcraft. The words? Toy train set .....let the world tremble...."

 So another St. Patrick's has come and gone, and not fast enough at that. Hopefully everyone had their fill of alcohol, but not too much, unlike the patrons of my hotel ( or more specifically the Pub attached to it). As much as I like to throw people out and occasionally break a few bones, I'm beyond that age where that defined fun;  now it's more of a nuisance and bother. ( However, I will admit that there was satisfaction in holding a guy in a blood choke, while his girlfriend demands to see the GM...upon which I present my business card and tell her she can call me in the morning and explain why her boyfriend decided to try and hit me with a chair, thus leading to his present state of unconsciousness..thug gm anyone?).  Anyways, I hate St Patrick's day. Let's get on with helping our fellow moonkins l2dps....

So..you're a fledgling 80 moonkin who wants to pew-pew. No? You say you'd rather QQ  about our lack of pvp survival, our lack of on-demand burst, that starfall sucks as an end tier talent,  or that innervate might get shafted in the upcoming patch? Worst of all, no pink feather models, you say ? Then gtfo, the mage and pally forums are ====>>>>>.

If you're made of sterner stuff, welcome. And you better believe you'll face a lot of flak. You'll have fellow druids ( as if other caster classes weren't enough) up in your grill about you rolling on cloth, since we're only suppsoed to wear leather. You'll have people saying druids only heal or tank. People will say dps and moonkin don't jive.  You'll have people saying we're ugly looking. Or that we smell. In some cases this is true ( Tnec), which makes it worse. While I can't help with the ugly part or the smell, i can help with the dps part. But first...

MOONKINS DO NOT MOONFIRE SPAM. IF YOU SEE ONE, GO UP TO THAT MOONKIN, SAY "SILLY CHICKEN", THEN REPEATEDLY SLAP THEM TILL THEY REROLL A ROUGE. THAT'S RIGHT, A ROUGE. THAT'S THE ONLY CLASS THEY'LL BE ABLE TO PLAY AFTER THAT BITCH SLAP YOU GAVE THEM.

Alright, now that the ranting is done, let's get on with how a moonkin rolls...after the break ....( don't you hate it when people leave you high and dry?)

So, before we broach this subject, let's see what's new ...

 Guild was finally able to get sarth 3D down ( go guild!) making it official: Wrath has been cleared. Now we wait to see what Ulduar will bring, and its increased difficulty. Grats to everyone though who was there for the guild first sarth3D kill (gratz to Choebald for the drake, even if he is a stinkin' mage who obviously got healed...must find out who did the healing and break their spine). They also are under the assumption that I now owe them vent songs of brittney spear....i dont see how me singing "Oops i did it again"  or "break the ice" is reward for getting Sarth 3D down...unless you're sadomasochistic, in which case, you need to see a doctor. (Trust me they do wonders, but i digress)

On a personal note, while i missed out on the Sarth 3D ( hoping to see it again next week) I did get the "Undying" achievement, so I'm pretty stoked about that, hopefully the "Immortal" will be next, so I can be like Foofy.

Now, on to more heady stuff....yeah right...

So, say you're a moonkin, and you want to dps? If you were like me and was around when Aerie peak was a nublet ( some would say it still is) you would have been laughed at and told to "spec resto". BC came, and you were told to spec "resto or bare". Now Wrath is here...and still no respect. We are the Rodney Dangerfield of WoW. All they want us to do is dance for their entertainment, battle rez, and spec into IFF becaue mages QQ and need help with hit cap.

While GC has said that we aren't supposed to be topping meters, a lot of people seem to have interpreted that as "do no dps". Even my guild, which is very openminded, seems to forget about me when it comes to dps talk: only mages, fury wars, hunters and DK's exist to dps, apparently. Nevermind that when you look into WWS, there's that orange text usually between #1-4....usually above a purple text that starts with R...which brings me to another point...

Why do we get orange texts? If anything we should have pink-flavoured texts, but noooooo, they give them do pallies. Pallies don't deserve them, druids do.

Pugs are the worst. Let's not even go there. Even if its an easy pug like Voa 25, peopel seem utterly amazed that a moonkin can do 3.5-4k dps.

What can you do about it? Sadly not much, at least you aren't a hunter who gets to live with the tag of huntard ( this will soon apply to DK''s as well, if it hasn't already). don't QQ about it, just shrug it off and continue to merrily dps your way through Wrath, and if anyone wonders how  you do it, simply say " I work hard, in a boat" . If they laugh at you, beat the living crap out of them till they believe you. ( make sure to clean your feathers afterwards, no one likes sticky feathers)

However, if you do need resources, there are a couple of places that are very helpful to bring out the best moonkin you can be:

www.themoonkinrepository.com

www.graymatterwow.blogspot.com

Those are two of the better sites, Elitist jerks of course is the preferred one, but the theorycrafting there goes a bit over the head of most folks, plus the previous two sites lack the vitriol you owuld find on sites such as the WoW forums.

My next entry will help aspiring moonkins dps as hard as is possible, short of getting hemorrhoids ( if you do heavy weightlifting you'll understand the reference) In the meantime, here are some tips to help you get started:

1) Work out hard

2) listen to Barry White while working out hard

3) Don't be in a boat

4) If someone says you can't dps , break their spine. if they have a soulstone/self-rez , break it again. But remember, don't enjoy it and tell them "this will hurt me more than it hurts you"...

5) Groom your feathers; remember, cleanliness is next to OPness.

Have a good weekend....even if its friday the 13th (OOOooooOOO) and for you video game fans everywhere, its RE5! Wesker, i'm coming for you.

Surly indeed, i had already typed out an entire blog, complete with 10 commandment quotes, and voila, deleted! So, it will be up soon. I know you are all downcast and think the world is ending and life isn't worth living, but I will post updated blog thingies very very soon.

So, the Love Festival has come and gone, and good riddance. If I had to hear one more person mention "candy bag" I imagine you'd be seeing a furry moonkin atop the SW fountain sniping people who mentioned the words " mend pls" or "wtb candy bags". But I digress...

One of the biggest news to come out is Ulduar, and if you haven't read it,  you can view it http://www.wow-europe.com/en/info/underdev/3p1/ulduar.xml. Personally, having Yogg-Saron in any form is exciting, and as some posters have mentioned, its likely that we would only fight a part of Yogg, like C'thun. It seems implied by all the questing I've done in Northrend that Yoggy ( as he is affectionately called) is present in the entire area of Northrend; indeed, I tend to agree with those who say he is under the entire continent. Nevertheless, it would be quite interesting to fight even a part of Yogg, considering he likes to whisper people, a Volash type of fight would sure spice things up a little.

Now to continue with this theme, I would like to add 5 things I hope are included in Ulduar. So, let's begin, shall we?

#5 - Loken / Thorim duel, ala Faceoff

If any of you have done the Thorim/Hodir chain, you know why I want this. I want to kick Loken's ass for manipulating me, and him disguising himself as a hot woman ( albeit a bluish and giantish one) is not enough compensation, nor is cutting his tongue. I want to make him bleed, and bleed some more.

 #4 - Yoggy

As it was with Cthun, so it is with Yoggy. I would love to see how they would portay his boss image, I hope it's akin to C'thun actually just being a part of the whole old god, I think it was an eyeball of him. Seeing as how the Forgotten ones look like, i would expect something like slimy with tentacles...then again, those old gods sure liked ebing slimy and tentacly.

# 3 - Bulldozers

By which I mean, machines that bust things up. It would be so cool if there was a place somewhere in Ulduar where the raid had to " bust a hole in the wall" so to speak, in order to further progress in the dungeon. I'm not talking about a boss fight, just a means of conveyance to get to the boss. it would be like Bob the builder meets Mad Max meets Journey to the Center of the Earth.

#2 - Mechagnomes

Seriously, who wouldn't want a slew of screaming mechanical gnomes out for your blood? I mean, mechanical gnomes. Need i say more, sirrah?  ( Ok I will, it would be all like "take that Deeze, take that Pink, take that Deeze...priceless gnome punting).

#1 - P-Wing

Imagine getting to the end, doing the hard version of Yoggy, then finding that " Sorry, your worm is in another castle/Citadel, but hey, you did good, so here's a P-wi...errr...Emblem of Conquest to help you on your next mission". Epic.

So ends another rambling, early morning diatribe from yours truly. Perhaps next time i shall write something actually worthwhile, besides mindless drivel. Then again, one of these days tnec, or Art, might actually shower. Who knows. I leave you with this thought

" If druids can change shape, then why can't we choose the colour of  our exterior skin? I say, if I want pink feathers, then pink feathers I should have. Flamingos are pink, why can't I?"

Allowing me to post in my own blog is possibly the biggest mistake this guild has ever known ( with the notable exception of actually letting me in ) . At first I thought about making a blog to help other aspiring moonkins, or druids in general. Then I thought about posting daily thoughts, ala jack Handey. Then I thought of eating cake. As you can see, nothing was ever decided.

So to simplify things, I will write about whatever i feel like, whether its talking about the budding romance between Dral and Breue, or the trainophobia of certain trees and emo locks, or the sheer vulgarity and idiocy of one called Tnec, or the morbid fixation of a certain Guild Mistress with pets, i will write about absolutely anything. Perhaps even a guide or two about specs/gear....but that's not salacious nor is it esoteric.

For now, I leave you a thought that has been with me ever since I rolled a druid:

"I wonder where my clothes go when I shapeshift, boy, I sure hope its there when I turn back. It would be quite distressing to shapeshift from seal form to enter a city naked, what with shrinkage from the cold water."