MOMiTs Gone Wild!

One day Ana headed out on a voyage to meet new friends. Outside of the wine bar, a bus stopped. No way, she thought. She considered a galleon, but the crews were wrong, and controlled by a cartel.  Then her Irish friend said, “Lass, a car!”  So off she went. 

 Upon arriving in Jamaica, she met a troll, who worked with his father and offered to feed her from his tray.

“Deez chickens, eat de necks, and dey are dry, not wet, man, and de Red Stripe brew is de finest. And Papa! Pasta for de lady!” 

 How much?” asked Ana. 

 "Free, a blow on de cookin’ fire would be much appreciated.  De mom and me, we have tree children, de first, de second and our turd eat only once a day. Two of dem are artistes, just graduated from Draw Like Us. We be done havin’ dem babies. Gee, vasectomies are no fun. (Scrot joke deleted here.) But please, eat!” 

 So Ana ate and then, all her hair fell out! 

 “Whoa, grim, man, choo bald! Ok, tee only ting do you do is get more help. Can’t you go see Maximillian? He feed you de wild crickets.” 

 Ana scooped up all her belongings along with Liz, the youngest child, and went to snoop around and went to Max. Inches away, Ana found Max in disguise with his friend Franz, in a dress, blue and pink.  Death awaited the crickets. 

 “Can you please help me?  I need my hair back!” Poor Ana. 

 Franz sniffed the night air. “You must use your snoz, berries you will find. (note: Franz and Yoda are first kazhens.) And the crickets love to eat berries.  Where you must kill the crickets and bring them to me. Oh, this sunscreen you will take for protection from the rays of UV, you doesn’t want a sunburn.”

 “How will I kill a cricket?”  asked Ana. 

 Franz replied, “Say, guns might work.” 

 So Ana headed out, and without a single misdirect, fired a shot, gathered her prey and headed back.  Franz and Max were NOT happy. 

 “Shot a loon, ya idiot. In the leg, too. Boom! Knee blow out.   Now he has a twisted claw. If he only could follow directions!  This is NOT a dps race. Now bring me a cricket.” 

 Max agreed, “I concur. Keep looking. Meanwhile, your friend can stay. Sing Liz, aria, Lena Horne style please. And put on a bra, this is no nightclub.” 

 When Ana returned with the crickets, she found Max and Franz stoned, bones lying all around.  Liz was nowhere in sight. This is crazy, she thought. I’ll just go home and play WOW with my friend, Xanathia. And so she did.

 When Ana returned with the crickets, she found Max and Franz stoned, bones lying all around.  Liz was nowhere in sight. This is crazy, she thought. I’ll just go home and play WOW with my friend, Xanathia. And so she did.

Heroic mode: (Just for fun and in the event of a tie-which would be two entries arriving at the exact same time.)

Meanwhile, back in Duskwood, Ana headed for Karazhan. A theory she had was that she should try a new tack or he, meaning Kaite, might die bald and she would never grow up to get that astronomy degree.

 Just then, in Tulkus ran, tipped the mage table over and asked,  “Whose new here? How about you, big bear?”  

“Nay,” Eli leered.  “And what are you looking at?”  

 “A door. Eels, a layer of candy, all kinds.  I do not see a mint,” answered Tulkus. (btw, it was Friday night.) I’ll pull RIGHT NOW. Shamen, use your rocks elementals and no one will have to see the mortician.” Sadly, he had not performed a ready check, and they all discovered, once again, that they were perishable.

 THE END

As told by Arturio, the lousy pally, to Nightbane and the dragon’s mom.