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03.05.2009 14:00:00
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Greetings Momits!

Follows is a short story and memoir I recently submitted to the powers that be when Blizzard announced its aspiring author contest.  Many thanks to our fearless leader for her encouragement and suggestions.

Apologies for the format; I'm not specced to blog, so I'm not certain how this will show up when I'm done . . .

Cheers,

Hamfred Bubblecork III, Esq.
Grand Master Mage Extraordanaire, Grand Master Engineer of Excellence,  Master Cook of Cookiness,  Bad Example to Orphans, Finder of an Everfrost Shard, Polisher of Hodir's Helm (again), and All-Around Swell Gnome-about-Town


  
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03.05.2009 14:00:00
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Escape from Gnomeregan

Part II

Hamfred snapped awake in a cold sweat, his dream of being caught in a cave-in fresh in his mind as he sat up in bed.  His heart skipped a beat when he realized the final, thunderous moments of his dream hadn't stopped now that he was awake.  The ground shook, and the earthquake sound of breaking rock filled the room; looking over to Keto's bed in the dim light, he saw his brother sitting awake with a look of terror on his face.  It wasn't until he heard muffled shouts from outside and the muted siren wailing from somewhere beyond their studio that Hamfred realized he wasn't hallucinating, the rumbling wasn't part of his dream - it was actually happening here in Gnomeregan!

Springing to his feet and throwing on some clothes, he saw Keto also leap out of bed, and shielded his eyes as Keto activated the room un-darkener, bathing the room in bright light.

Hamfred pulled the bolt and slid the door open, revealing a corridor in chaos beyond.  Gnomes were racing to and fro with looks of fear on their faces, most carrying bags or packs that looked hastily-stuffed with belongings.  At this hour of night, the corridors should have been mostly empty except for the odd gnome or three making their way home from a night shift in the workshop or train depot.  But this looked like a full-blown panic, and over the din he could hear an alarm-o-bot repeating over and over, "INTRUDER ALERT . . . INTRUDER ALERT . . ."

Hearing Keto's groan of dread, he turned to see his brother looking up at the intercom and hazard light he'd unplugged earlier.  Hamfred realized with a sinking feeling in his stomach that they'd missed whatever advance notice had been given, and this quadrant was apparently being evacuated!  The hallway was fast emptying, when another, louder quake shook the ground, almost throwing him from his feet.  Keto came up behind him and looked out into the hall.

"We need to think about leaving," the younger gnome said.  "If that's one of the transaxle rotary couplings going, it's going to bring half the city down on our heads."

Hamfred didn't hear the grinding metal that would accompany a blown transaxle, but he wasn't willing to sit and wait for it - for all that Gnomeregan might be the technological wonder of the world, she was still a machine, and subject to possible . . . malfunctions.

"Grab everything you can, and quick!" he said to Keto, then followed his own advice and began stuffing clothes, schematics, and parts into his Traveler's brand backpack.  Don't leave home without one! the stitching under the inside flap advertised, but Hamfred wished he had four more just like it to fit everything precious he didn't want to leave behind.  He made do, but most of the clothes that had gone in ended up coming back out to make space for additional schematics or partially completed devices.  He was just finishing, placing the carefully wrapped Invulnerability Belt prototype on top, when he saw that his brother was rearming several of the hi-explosive bombs he'd been cannibalizing parts from.

"What are you going to do with those?"

"Listen I know you don't like goblin stuff, but we can disarm them later if we don't need them; I've just got a bad feeling, and would feel better armed."

Hamfred doubted they'd be able to recover the unstable triggers now that Keto had armed the explosives, but despite his general misgivings about anything originally invented by goblins, he had to admit he found himself feeling slightly safer having a them.

It took less than ten minutes to get everything together, but by the time they emerged from the studio into the dormitory corridor, the place was deserted.  The rumblings had stopped and someone had shut up the alarm-o-bot, but the emergency lights were still flashing an ominous red and orange warning.  The silence was somehow worse.

"Where to?" Keto asked uncertainly, looking down the corridor both ways.

"If it's an evacuation, the Clockwerk Run is going to be a disaster area . . . everyone crammed into the bottleneck heading to the tram," he answered, thinking aloud.  "We might want to head to the Workshop and take the back way out."

"Fine, but let's hurry!" Keto said, then led the way down the corridor towards the lower level.

Hamfred felt decidedly uneasy racing along the empty corridors of the city.  The mechanical sounds of the city's heartbeat still whirled and cranked normally, but the alert lights were flashing danger at every intersection, and the empty hallways made the city feel abandoned.  The echo of what sounded like distant combat came from a side corridor as another minor quake shook the hallway.

Trying to ignore the growing sense of fear working its way up his spine, Hamfred led them along hurriedly, around a corner and into the main dormitory.  He saw the city had automatically deployed several of the Alarm-O-Bomb 2600 units, mechanical sentries that looked like walking trash cans with a giant hazard light mounted atop them.  Designed to repel intruders by dispensing explosives, Hamfred realized for the first time the city might be in serious jeopardy.

Turning towards the Hall of Gears, the mechanical center of the city, he and Keto were stopped by a shout from a short staircase across the room.

"Hey!  You two had better get over here!"

The voice belonged to a black leather clad gnome woman, her light blond hair pulled back into twin, bushy ponytails.  "Get into the clean zone quick!" she hollered in a squeaky voice, motioning them up the staircase.

Hamfred didn't argue; he shot Keto a look and a shrug, then turned and charged past the Alarm-O-Bombs up the short staircase into the city recycling plant.  Several gnomes with swords watched down the stairs as they entered, looking nervous and tense, while the room beyond was full of other gnomes and their families interspersed between the recycling machines, sanitations devices, and other mechanical apparatus.  The place was crowded, and he and Keto moved over to stand by their new friend who'd called them over.

"You're Emi Shortfuse," Keto said to the woman, who was more absorbed listening to a conversation between two technicians behind them about seepage and radiation dangers.

"Blastmaster Emi Shortfuse to you, buddy," Emi replied curtly, "And you're lucky I saw you - you two were running straight for the Hall of Gears!"

Hamfred suddenly realized what the technicians were talking about, and felt his jaw drop open.  Keto was still talking to Emi, oblivious, asking, "Is there fighting in the Hall of Gears?  We were trying to get to the Workshop . . ."

"We lost contact with the Launch Bay, the Engineering Labs, AND the Workshop about twenty minutes ago - troggs have poured into the city from the upper levels and have about sundered the primary motor relays in the Upper Hall of Gears - the whole assembly is going to go any time now!"

Ignoring Emi and his brother for a moment, Hamfred pushed over to the technicians, asking incredulously, "You're going to do what?"  His voice must have been louder than he planned, though, because Keto, Emi, and several other gnomes in the area turned to look at him.

"High Tinker Mekkatorque ordered the emergency venting of the city's radioactive waste tanks five minutes ago," the technician said somberly.  "The troggs are pouring in from the abandoned tram tunnel near the Clockwerk Run by the dozens, and the mechanized sentries aren't going to be able to hold them.  This is a Clean Zone - don't worry - the airborne pollutants won't reach here, and after the troggs die or flee, we'll just get some mops and buckets and tidy up.  I'm hoping the High Tinker at least gives us a half-day holiday, though."

"I thought Mekgineer Thermaplugg collapsed those tunnels a week ago, after Anvilmar sent word of the subterranean threat?" Keto asked, but nobody had an answer.  The question got washed away a moment later, though, by a loud metal screeching as the city's vents opened, followed by the heavy hiss of greenish gas pouring like mercury through water to densely coat the floor of the dormitory they'd fled just moments before.

"I hope this works," Emi whispered next to him.

"Second that," he said, "And I hope everybody on the lower levels got to a clean zone in time, too."

Emi nodded in answer, when another rumble shook the room and a loose pressure hose blew.  Hamfred had about time to notice the sanitation unit behind him was suddenly un-cooled by the hose before the unstable unit burst at the top weld, and an errant iron bar knocked him into unconsciousness.

 

continued...


  
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03.05.2009 14:00:00
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Escape from Gnomeregan

Part III

When Hamfred came to he was still in the Clean Zone, but there were far fewer gnomes around.  Keto was there, his red, curly hair matted to his head with sweat, and next to him was Emi Shortfuse, but most of their fellow civilians were gone.  The stairs leading out of the Clean Zone going up to the Clockwerk Run as well as those leading down towards the Dormitories and lower levels were still guarded by grim faced gnome warriors, and a few stone-faced technicians and medics stood by the various cleaning machines, but looking down the steps the green gas was nowhere to be seen - apparently he'd been out for quite a few minutes.

Seeing him conscious again, Keto interrupted what Emi was saying and hurried across the room to stand at his side.

"They've abandoned Tinker's Court - Mekkatorque came over the intercoms a few minutes ago and sounded the evacuation code signal.  The upper levels are still completely overrun: the venting didn't stop the troggs at all - it just . . . well, irritated them."

"Irradiated them, you mean," Hamfred said, but nobody got his joke.  Still, past his sizable headache he felt a tight knot in the pit of his stomach.

"They're saying we've got to abandon Gnomeregan!" Keto said again, with desperate emphasis.

"You missed the fireworks," Emi Shortfuse said, coming over.  "The motor relays broke and the entire Tram power assembly went up with a sound like Blackrock Mountain erupting.  The Upper and Lower Hall of Gears are blasted to scrap, and the leaking transcapicator fluid has animated into some kind of radioactive slime dripping into the lower chambers."  Hamfred was staggered - his city was falling to pieces.

Emi Shortfuse looked at him oddly for a moment, and then asked, "You're a Bubblecork, aren't you?"

"Yes" both he and Keto replied simultaneously.  Keto's voice had a sharp edge to it, and Hamfred knew he was touching on defensive anger.

Emi just nodded, though.  "I knew your Father - good gnome."

"By the Light, Father!" Keto said suddenly, but Emi shook her head reassuringly.

"They'd have emptied all the care facilities' patients to other Clean Zones before the venting, and it sounds like the plan is to regroup in Ironforge.  As many gnomes as could get out by portal are probably already there, seeking help from the dwarves."

Hamfred felt a bit easier, and he could see Keto's relief, too.  Of course, whatever had happened to their Father, it was too late for them to change anything now - there was little enough they could do to help themselves.  But he grasped onto something else Emi had just said - mages.  Of course they could open portals to any of the capital cities.  Suddenly the power to teleport around the world sounded like a rare and wonderful freedom.

"Are there still mages evacuating the city?" he asked, hopeful, but Keto and Emi both shook their heads.

"We heard there was one evacuating the southern Clean Zone," Keto said, "but that whole area is cut off by cave-in now.  The High Tinker and his court probably all got out by portal, too - chain of command and whatnot, but we haven't heard anything but troggs for the past half hour."

"Is that how long I was out?" he asked incredulously.

"Little longer, actually," Keto said.

"Hope the medics did a good job on your head," Emi said, gently touching the bandage around his temple.  "Cause the only way out of the city now is a run through the trogg infested Clockwerk Run to the Train Depot, and then to the elevator."

"What about the Workshop exit, though," he asked, trying to get his mind working again.  "Without power, the tram is out, and if there's no mages to port us than that's out too, but given a choice between running through the entire Clockwerk Run dodging irradiated troggs, and having to avoid a few puddles of radioactive goo - I'm thinking the troggs aren't the way to go.  Besides, if we can get to the Launch Bay, there's always the chance we can hop a bomber out of here."

"A bomber?" Emi said with a little laugh.  "Who's gonna fly it, Bubblecork - you?"

"You bet - my brother and I aren't such bad pilots, and most of the takeoff sequence is automated . . ."

"The sanitation equipment is tracking safe radiation levels in the lower levels now," Keto cut in, excited, "And there's even some chance there's still gnomes alive down there.  I like that idea a whole lot better than dodging troggs left and right all the way to the elevator."

Emi just shook her head.  "Good luck to you, then, because I'm headed upstairs.  I might even peek into the abandoned tram tunnel, too; I've gathered some explosives, and if I can collapse the troggs entry point, there's a fair chance we can retake the city."

Keto looked torn for a moment, and Emi must have read what Hamfred did in his little brother's face, because she went on, "Listen, there's nothing you can do to help right now except get to safety."  Pointing to the armed gnomes in the room, she went on, "There's some hold out forces here to help keep the fires lit, but we're going to need outside help to clean this mess up, and there's no telling how long it's going to take coming.  Get out while you still can."

Keto nodded, and Hamfred silently thanked Emi for letting his brother off the hook.  He agreed that the city's only chance was outside help at this point, and he wasn't too proud to flee to get it.

"We'd . . . um . . . better try to get out of here quickly," he said lamely.

Emi looked at the two of them doubtfully, but nodded.

"Good luck to you both."

"Good luck to you," he answered, and then she turned away and went over to a few of the holdout technicians to start organizing her explosives.  Looking at Keto, he said with a shrug, "Now or never, I guess."

Keto nodded, and the two of them descended the steps into the dormitory courtyard, skirting along the wall to avoid the Alarm-O-Bomb units.  Hamfred figured they'd be keyed to ignore gnomes, but he figured it didn't pay to take any chances.

Flitting around a corner and moving down a short hallway away from the dormitories, they entered the lower Hall of Gears - or at least what was left of it.  Scrap metal littered the floor in twisted heaps where the floor of the upper chamber had collapsed.  The gigantic, cylindrical core of the Tram power assembly was sheared clear in half, a split column that no longer supported the main weight of the chamber above.  What was visible of the floor of the room was dirty with grease and spilled oil, and the fumes of transcapicator fluid.  Light flooded into the room from above, but it was diffused by particles of dust and debris in the air giving everything in the room a greenish-yellow tint.

He grabbed Keto's arm and started skirting around the circular room to the left, avoiding most of the debris and wreckage in the middle of the room, but stopped after only a few steps as a blobbish mass of undulating ooze slithered from behind a piece of crumpled metal.  Nearly as tall as he was, the thing was neon green, and the air around it buzzed as if it were surrounded by invisible bees.  Worse, through the transparent membrane of the creature, bits of partially disintegrated gnomes were visible.

"That's thing's been eating gnomes!" Keto said in a harsh whisper, digging into his pack.

"More likely it just oozed over a body," Hamfred replied, unwilling to attach any sinister intelligence to what appeared to be no more than a gigantic shambling mass of animate phlem.  Still, the thing was moving in their direction, and was definitely not what he'd pictured when Emi had said ‘animated fluid'.

Keto had drawn one of the explosives from his pack, though, and seemed determined to lay waste to the irradiated slime.  Releasing the safety, Keto hurled the explosive at the thing, hitting it at its base.  For a moment, the slime stopped, and Hamfred could see the mithril casing of the explosive sinking through the ooze's membrane before the device detonated with a roar, blasting bits of radioactive gel and the contents of the thing's innards about the room.

Wiping bits of green ooze, oil, and gnome bits off of himself, he looked at Keto and said flatly, "You know, the explosives work just as well when thrown from a greater range."

Keto grinned, wiping himself off, but whatever he was going to answer was cut off by the sound of massed bubbling, and they looked up to see nearly half a dozen more irradiated slimes moving from various portions of the room directly towards them.

"Run!"  he yelled, and raced ahead of Keto around the circumference of the room.

The oozes were faster than he'd have given them credit for, and looking back, he saw them closing the distance as Keto let fly another explosive, missing the slimes and detonating a pile of fallen rock and metal.  Despite the miss, however, Hamfred saw each of the oozes immediately alter course for the explosion, and he whispered to Keto, "They're attracted to the noise, or the flash, but either way . . ."

Keto nodded, and as the oozes abandoned the crater where the last blast had hit and started moving back towards them, he hurled another bomb as far back across the room as he could, spraying more debris in the explosion, but luring the oozes far away from them.

"Nice shot," he congratulated his brother, racing away again around the room.

As he reached the exit tunnel, he looked back for the oozes and saw them moving mindlessly towards them, still in hot pursuit.  The hallway overlooked a wide, shallow service trench to their right, but was otherwise a straight shot to the Launch Bay.  Keto was pulling another explosive from his pack when they heard shuffling footfalls from farther up the corridor as a cadre of gnome sentries came into view.  Wearing armored suits and carrying rifles, the gnomes had a sickly, jaundiced look as if suffering from sickness.  Some of the gnomes' skin looked blistered and peeling off, too, but if there were gnomes alive down here - even sick ones -, their chances of escape were getting better and better.

"Help, there're oozes after us," he hollered, and the two gnomes closest to them crouched down into firing positions.

The third gnome defender was looking at them quizzically, while the fourth shouted out, "This sickness clouds my vision, but I know they must be troggs.  Die foul invaders!" He hefted his rifle to his shoulder.

"Wait, we're not troggs!" Keto shouted, but the gnomes opened fire.  A bullet whizzed through the air scant inches from Hamfred's face, as Keto cried out in pain and clutched his arm.  Worse, the oozes were nearly on them from behind, so in a fit of desperation, Hamfred grabbed the explosive Keto had out and hurled it just ahead of the gnome defenders - out of blast range, he hoped - before pushing Keto over the edge and tumbling the two of them into the service trench.

They landed with matched grunts as the explosion sounded in the corridor above them, followed by the bubbling of oozes charging the blast, and the repeated sounds of rifle fire as the gnomes shot and fell back away from the oozes.  Keto's face was pale and his left hand was still clamped over his right arm, but he whispered, "They must have been exposed to the radiation, and it's somehow . . ." he groped for the right word.

"They're sick," Hamfred agreed.  "Their skin looks almost like they're afflicted by some kind of leprosy, but I've never heard of leprosy afflicting the mind.  But we'll have to worry about them later.  If anyone else is alive down here, we can't trust that they're not infected, too."

Looking up and down the service trench, he wracked his memory of the city's blueprints, and then nodded in the direction the leprous defenders had gone.

"We can follow this trench to the . . ." he started, then noticed blood pouring from his brother's arm.  With a small cry, he crawled over to Keto and tried to staunch the bleeding pouring freely from the bullet wound in his upper arm.

"It'll be ok for now," Keto said as he finished wrapping the wound, but Hamfred wasn't sure.  He needed a medic, a priest, or both and soon.

Glancing down at the poorly made cloth bandage covering the bullet hole, Keto said with a wry smile, "Though I think you might need to work on your first aid skills."

Hamfred smiled back at his brother.  "Are you ok to go?"

Keto nodded, and the two of them stumbled to their feet, moving cautiously down the service trench towards the Launch Bay.  The lip was a good 6 feet - far too high for a gnome to reach without a ladder, and with Keto's injured arm, Hamfred didn't think they'd be able to boost each other up, either.  But if memory served, this trench would deposit them where they wanted to go anyway, so he crossed his fingers and hoped nothing was between them and their destination.

After a few minutes, he could see the Launch Bay lights up ahead, and the service trench was becoming increasingly shallow.  Pressed against the trench wall where it became lower, he tried to stay hidden as he moved into a position where he could look out at the Bay.  Shock and disbelief momentarily filled him as he peeked out.

The Launch Bay was completely undamaged, and was still apparently manned by a full complement of gnome mechanics, assistants, and defenders.  But each of the dozens of gnomes in the room had the sickly yellow look of the leprous defenders from before.  It was like a horrible dream, with the familiar place the same but the occupants all corrupt, sinister versions of themselves.  Lowering his head below the lip, he looked to Keto and summed up.

"Most of the Bombers are here and intact by the look of things, too, but the place is manned by dozens of leper gnomes.  I'm betting they don't take to us any better than the ones upstairs."

Keto's waxy face drooped at the news, and he asked, "What are we going to do?"

There wasn't much choice as Hamfred saw it.  It was too dangerous to go back, if there was even a way to safely get out by the elevator.  The Bombers were here, and if they could get aboard one, the automated preflight would maneuver them to the flight deck and they could boost their way out into the free skies above from there.  It was just a matter of getting to the plane.

"We get the plane, and we get out of here."

"How?" Keto asked desperately.  "The Bombers on the runway have their ordinance loaded already, so no way I'm tossing explosives around in there, even if we did have enough left to take out all of the lepers.  Once those diseased gnomes see us, they're gonna gun us down, or bludgeon us to death with wrenches, or whatever . . ."

Hamfred reached into his pack, unwrapping the belt nestled on top and clicking it securely in place around his waist.

"I'll go, with the Invulnerability Belt.  I'll lead them away from the nearest Bomber, and you can hop in and start the autoflight sequence.  Once you start to taxi towards the launch chute, I'll hop aboard, and we escape.  It'll be cake."

Keto just looked at him for a moment, his eyes going from Hamfred's face to the thorium-link belt and back again.  His face tightened, but Hamfred knew his brother was realizing there was no other choice.

"At least let me wear . . ." Keto started, but Hamfred cut him off.

"No way.  The belt is my gamble, and that's that."

When Keto finally nodded, Hamfred steeled himself to activate the belt and start his run, but before he could he heard a shout from the Launch Bay nearby and gunfire hitting soft, gooey bodies.  Risking a peek, he saw that from an octagonal-shaped archway headed back towards the Hall of Gears, a host of irradiated oozes - probably the same ones he set on the leprous defenders before - had made their way to the Launch Bay.  Bits of partially digested gnome floated inside several of the oozes, and to Hamfred's amazement, all of the mechanics and defenders charged the oozes, one of them shouting, "The troggs . . . they never stop coming.  Die trogg!  Die!"

As the leper gnomes cleared out, Hamfred saw a flight-ready Bomber completely unguarded just twenty or thirty feet away.  Not waiting to question their good fortune, he looked to his brother and said simply, "Come on Keto, we're going!"

Helping his brother to his feet, the two haggard gnomes stumbled out onto the well-lit underground platform of the domed room.  Hamfred glanced towards the ceiling over the Launch Platform at the launch valve, but it looked undamaged, thank the Light.  The Launch Bay was designed with a single take-off and landing chute to the surface overtop the circular platform built raised up in the center of the Bay itself.  If Hamfred's calculations were correct, and he believed they were, the Bomber's autopilot would power up the ship as one of the great mechanical cranes positioned around the room automatically maneuvered them onto the Launch Platform.  From there, the valve would open automatically, and they'd just ascend skyward up the chute to freedom.

Almost to the bomber he cried out in pain, clutching his shoulder where a thrown wrench had hit him.  He leaned up against the wing of the Bomber to steady himself, as Keto painfully struggled up towards the cockpit.  Looking around quickly, he saw the leper gnomes had finished with the oozes, and were charging back across the room towards them.  Several of them were apparently throwing tools, but it was the Peacekeeper Security Suit charging over with them that Hamfred realized was the real threat.

Wasting no time and ignoring the pain in his shoulder - a nice counter throb to his still-aching head - he hopped up onto the wing and helped his brother pull back the cockpit glass, sliding into the navigator's seat and flipping the auto-engage switches.  Keto hopped into the pilot seat and activated the autoflight sequence.  Almost immediately one of the mammoth robotic arms pivoted over to their ship, and grasping it, lifted it clear of the Launch Bay floor just as the heavily armed Peacekeeper Security Suit had been about to reach them.  Screwdrivers and wrenches bounced harmlessly off the heavy flyer's plating, but leprous defenders were now bringing their rifles to bear, and a bullet shattered the glass of the cockpit.

Wishing the mechanical claw would move them faster to deposit them in launch position, he saw the launch chute door slide open above them and heaved a mental sigh of relief.  That had been his biggest fear, that the doors had malfunctioned somehow.  He heard Keto's groan a moment later though, and seeing the other gnome's eyes on the Launch Platform, looked in mounting alarm at the fully armed and active Electrocutioner 6000 defense robot, it's spider-like metal body bobbing up and down slightly, its weapons trained on the Bomber to destroy it the moment it was set down on the Launch Pad.  Hamfred was soaked by icy beads of sweat as he futilely tried to focus his mind.

"Break us free of the crane!" Hamfred shouted, seeing only one way out.

Understanding as the crane began to lower them down into range of the Electrocutioner 6000, Keto kicked up the throttle and rocked the Bomber left, than right, the boosters firing with increased power.  Metal groaned from the crane, and as the defense robot realized what they were doing, it charged a megavolt of electricity, blasting a lightning bolt at them that exploded against the thorium plating of the Bomber, searing the nose of the craft and left the air around them crackling with ozone.

But the armor held, and with a last heave from the Bomber's engines, Keto finally managed to break them loose from the crane, shooting them across the room.  He wheeled them around through the flak from of rifle fire and another megavolt from below, and then pulled up away from the launch platform, up the launch chute towards the starry sky above.  But, as they boosted upwards, rocketing up the long tube towards the lip of the chute and freedom, Hamfred felt the bomber jarred heavily by a blast from below and realized Electrocutioner hadn't given up - and worse, the Bomber's armor wasn't going to save them from another hit.

Looking over the side down the chute for the defense robot, he saw the Electrocutioner 6000 charging to blast a final megavolt.  Judging from their speed and the distance remaining, it would destroy them before they could escape.  The fresh smell from above was the crisp, snowy air of the mountains of Dun Morgoth, tantalizingly close, but not close enough.

Looking at the shredded thorium plating where one of the megavolts had hit, Hamfred felt a sudden flash of inspiration, and popped open the buckle of his belt, deftly pulling two coils from the relay and pressed them to the metal sides of the cockpit, activating the belt a scant second before the megavolt hit.  Immediately the belt flashed as it absorbed the electricity through the Bomber's frame, powering its servos and the delicate arcanite converter within to full power and beyond, enveloping them in a protective shield as they were blasted by the tremendous force of the attack out the top of the chute into the open air above.

Staring in mute wonder at the skies around them in the predawn light, he could see a flickering bubble of force around their silently gliding craft.

Turning to Keto with his face lit with a foolish grin, he shouted, "It worked!  The Belt worked!"

Keto's idiot grin mirrored his own, and Hamfred savored the feeling the cold, brisk mountain air whipping past them through the shattered cockpit, letting out a cheer as he yelled, "We're free!"

"Hooray!" Keto cheered, then yelled "Your Invulnerability Belt was . . ." but suddenly stopped.  Looking back, Hamfred saw Keto quizzically regarding the bomber's unresponsive controls, and realized what he'd been hearing as they glided through the air - nothing.  The Bomber's engines were shot, demolished by the final blast that the belt had . . . well . . . almost protected them from.

"Huh," Hamfred said as Keto glided the plummeting craft towards a large snow drift for a crash landing.  "Maybe we'll have to market it as the ‘Nigh-Invulnerability' Belt."

He and Keto were both still laughing when the Bomber flumped down in the cold, soft snow on the outskirts of Ironforge.

 

♦ Fin ♦


  
Comments 0Hits: 283  

07.04.2009 01:24:29
Arturio

The raid at last steps into the final room to face the last boss. She's legendary and you've been awaiting this fight for a while. What could this room have in store for the raid? What epic tales will you be able to post in the realm forums of your glory here? You enter with excitement and a hint trepidation...

You see her sitting up on a pedestal. She cooly stares you down. There's a black cat in her arms, which she gently pets as she grins wickedly at your raid. She whispers something to the cat. Something about new toys with which he can play. There's another curled at her feet with eyes so bright and alert as if he's daring you to come closer. He raises one paw, extends his claws and casually cleans his paw.

Your tank starts to walk in a little farther. Suddenly, he's hit upside the head by something from the back! You watch as a disc circles back around and nails a healer and a ranged dps. They're all stunned in place. Your raid is shocked. What just happened? You spin around to find another paladin catching the disc, which you now recognize as a shield, blocking your way out. What is it with this place and paladins?! And is this one female? Nice midriff...mmmm.

The off tank reacts quickest and charges. As if in slow motion, you watch the paladin lower her shield, infuse it with some great power, lower her shoulder and raise it into your offtank's face to send him flying and land on the ground flat on his back. Oh crap.

The next thing you know the paladin sprouts glowing wings and has raced into the midst of your clumped, unprepared raid group and dropped an aoe. Everyone's health slowly ticks away. Two tanks are incapacitated, one healer is still stunned when a second healer is hit with something that stops him mid-heal. The paladin continues to lay out people with her shield, drain health with her aoe, and crush faces with a big hammer that's nailing 3-4 people at a time. She taunts the raid. She has an awfully deep voice for a woman.

Finally, a tank is up and attempts pulls the paladin away but she seems to be targeting specific raid members and won't follow very easily. When she manages to kill one of each class present, you hear a little ding and cheer from her, "Yes, another achievement; I'm ahead again!"

The paladin is nearly down, this fight is won! You'd forgotten about the woman on the pedestal, so has the entire raid. Nobody's paying her any mind. But she chooses this time to rise from her seat, causing her cats to hiss in displeasure. The paladin is full health! Morale drops. WTF. She's a priest?! And her cats have entered the fray, too! One is jumping face to face, biting and scratching at the face, causing a blind effect and bleed damage. The second is racing around scratching at ankles and knee caps, which causing everyone's movement to be slowed. Every time somebody attacks the cats, the priest screams to leave her babies alone and does an aoe dot.

By now your own healers' mana pools are dwindling. This paladin can take a beating. And now has a healer. Quick, focus fire the priest!

"No," she yells! "I don't like tanking! Get these things out of my face!" She screams again, sending the melee fleeing in all directions. The ranged are unaffected. They continue to dps her. But then you notice something strange, the paladin is getting bigger and stronger. For every bit of damage done to the priest, the paladin's hit points and damage rise dramatically. Her shield seems to be thrown about more and more often, stunning more of the raid.

Eventually, the raid leader makes the call to ignore her except through a series of interrupts. You focus on the paladin, who gets knocked out first. Then it's a matter of dealing with fears and taking out the priest. She does a few mind controls but it looks like she misses that fairly often. Clearly, she lacks hit gear. But she gets one off and a melee takes out a healer. This is going to be close. She drops. Phew. The cats are easy, if you can ever target them. Squirmy little things.

But then the priest rises again. She's now a ghost, or angel...as much of an angel as evil raid bosses can be. What is she casting? The angel disappears but the paladin is resurrected! She only has 10% health from the rez but, wow, that aoe is taking out the raid in 3 ticks. DON'T STAND IN IT! And her attacks are swinging like crazy, almost as if she's frenzied at the loss of a loved one.

The tanks bounce aggro around the room to keep out of the aoe, melee is forced to give chase. Ranged pops any remaining cooldowns and exhausts their mana. She goes down with only 1/3 of the raid left standing.

Master looter goes to the bodies; all he finds are vanity pets. What a waste of a raid night!


  Momit Raided | Epic | Art
Comments 2Hits: 1280  

04.04.2009 00:35:01
Arturio

You think you have to be nearing the end of this dungeon. It sure has gone on for a long while now. Once again, you step into a new room.

You see two paladins, one on each edge. One is shorter and uglier than the other and you can't tell if the short one might be a woman. Is that facial hair or has she/he just not bathed in a long while? The tall one is splendid looking, very regal. Your eyes are drawn to him as the most glorious thing in the room. You guess these are the healers. You'd feel threatened by them if they didn't look like goofy mid-90s power rangers with their pointy shoulder pads.

In one step is a hunter with a giant pet gorilla named Hugo on the right and a warlock with a mean looking imp on the left. The hunter looks exasperated with everyone else and mutters to herself, "Children..." The lock looks sulky, and angry. He's yelling at the others to keep the chat down. You watch as he cuts his wrist. You also notice it's not the first time.

Suddenly, in the center a giant freaking bird drops something on the ground. Your ears are assaulted by train horns and annoying choo-choo noises. The warlock cuts himself again.

Your RL sets tanks and healer assignments and it's go time. Things don't go as planned...

Someone attempts to crowd control the paladins but it's mistimed (a 3 rating if there ever was one) and one cleanses the other. Someone tries to poly the evil chicken but he just laughs at the raid and tells it to STFU. Out pop three giant trees that attack one side of the raid. Then the warlock begins to rain fire on the other side. Trees or fire...where to go?!

A tank charges in and interrupts the warlock's cast. But then the hunter reacts and sends her gorilla at the tank. The gorilla stomps, freezing the tank in place, and uses this time to scratch itself before it punches your tank in the face. Not only that but the hunter attacks your healers, casting a mana drain, as they try to save the tank from the gorilla.

No damage is going out to the bosses. The paladins are too good. You've never seen such amazing healing. They HOP the chicken when somebody attacks it. They shield everyone and keep everyone topped to full health. Their heals smell like bacon? They stun, they even do damage and their mana pools never empty. Bright, golden wings sprout from their backs as things get really interesting for the raid. They start casting faster and bigger heals, faster and bigger attacks. These are probably the best two paladins you've ever seen...ever.

The raid leader calls for split focus on the paladins. Interrupts and stuns are of great importance. The ugly one turns to stone and cackles at the tall one as damage done to him suddenly slows drastically. The tall, handsome, glorious paladin gives the short, ugly, stupid one a withering look when he suddenly is surrounded by a glowing bubble. He's immune! What's going to happen now, you wonder with trepidation. He pulls a stone out of his pocket and disappears. The short one grumbles about having to do all the work. The owl thing says something about Art needing to die in a fire with a broken spine.

The short paladin drops. The chicken owl looks like he's casting something on the body...an interrupt goes off in time and the cast is stopped. The raid focuses on him. The chicken cries out as he falls, "I'm really a nice guy, it was all an act. All I wanted was to be loved..."

The hunter drops suddenly after only a few hits. The warlock looks to be cutting himself quite drastically now. His health is dropping rapidly. The raid turns and focuses. The hunter is up again! She played possum with you. A tank runs in and is turned into an ice cube. Another chases and is surrounded by snakes. The hunter begins to pick off the raid one-by-one, stealing kills from the warlock. Your dps gets wise and focuses her down. She looks to be dead for certain this time. Her gorilla is gone, too.

That leaves the warlock. He's extremely sulky looking now. Like bad myspace emo kids. He yells, "I'm number 1!" He casts. You're covered in dots. Your health slowly trickles away. As it goes dark, you see the warlock knocked. Your gear suffers 10% durability loss. Frak, that's 15g!


  Art | Epic | Momit Raided
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03.04.2009 01:22:51
Arturio

You finally make it to the next boss encounter to find the room rather busy. You can't tell what all is here as far as classes go.

You spot what you think are two paladins chatting. They both carry large two handed weapons. One keeps talking about class changes and randomly bursts into tears. The other tries to comfort him.

You watch as some tiny fellow goes racing and jumping around the room. He never stops running around and each time he runs into something, he makes a weird noise. He's carrying two weapons 3 times his height. You have no idea how he's not falling over.

There's another one that looks very much like the previous boss. He's just sitting there. He looks afk. Random other people keep poking him.

There's also one lonely priest in here. He randomly insults everybody in the room, the little guy more than anybody else.

Assignments go out and the raid attacks, targeting the priest (since he's probably a healer). The little one intercepts the attack, making his noises again. He then jumps into the raid as he yells, "WHIRLWIND! BLAAAAAAAAADESTOOOOOOOOORM! Post the damage!" He continues to bounce around the raid, jumping from member to member.

The paladins run in, dropping consecrate on the raid. One of them stops halfway towards the raid with her mace raised. She jumps forward a few feet, stops again, and suddenly she's gone. Nobody seems to find this unusual.

The afk guy is still afk. Nobody finds this odd either.

The priest isn't healing anybody. He's shifted to shadow form and starts dotting everyone and fearing people. The priest laughs at the insane, whooping guy as he's taken down by the raid.

The remaining paladin is going down. Somehow, he seems to be doing more damage to himself than to the raid. He yells at the priest to heal him. The priest yells back, "you're a paladin, heal yourself!" The paladin is down and you think he may have killed himself.

The raid focuses on the priest now and he goes down easy enough without any plate to run interference.

And the fight is over even though the afk guy is still up. The raid can still loot. It's all healing gear.


  
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28.03.2009 02:36:01
Arturio

As the raid proceeds to the next room, you spot a bear druid sitting on his rump. He's happily sitting there, humming some song and waving his paw in the air.

Another druid, this should be pretty easy. The raid engages.

Nothing out of the ordinary happens for the first 25%. But at that time, he changes forms. Not to another druid form, but to another class. He changes into a shaman!

Nothing unusual about the shaman either. Seems like a tank and spank so far. But after another 25%, he changes into a rogue. He suddenly pauses, "Where's my gear?" The raid looks at him and realizes he's not wearing any gear. The raid takes advantage.

You get him down easily but you don't drop combat. Instead, you watch as he rises again. You see another change coming over him. He has gear again, big beefy gear. He now has a big two-handed ax, plate armor and full health. He blows a horn and yells, "You're all dead...I like it!"

He engages the raid. You're standing in something: death and decay! He's diseasing the raid. It's hard to keep it cleansed. He can somehow spread it to all nearby targets effortlessly.

His ax crashes against the tank, and the tank drops. He somehow reaches across the room and pulls a healer to him. The ax flashes again and the healer is down. He roars, "I'm number 1!!" He turns the body of the healer into a ghoul that fights beside him.

Somehow, the raid manages to get him down. You hear a little girl's voice pipe up, "Congradumations!" You're not sure where that came from and you're not even sure what he was. You do think you found his rogue gear - you loot and it's all leather dps.


  Momit Raided | Epic | Art
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24.03.2009 20:48:03
Arturio

The next boss encounter is just through the very next door. You see a very short individual. He's wearing a horned, steel helm that reminds you of something out of mythology and has bright pink pigtails poking out of the helm...somehow. He's also got a pet. A little thing with a large shield that keeps rubbing his back on walls like he's got an itch. You're not certain what class this boss is.

The tanks engage the fight. It's simple enough. The boss seems to be a priest. He smites the raid, heals himself and heals his pet. He shouts at the raid, "Is this all you've got? I can handle more than this. Pull more! More, more, more!"

The pet is an annoying little bugger. He's difficult to damage and has a "chew" debuff he keeps applying to the tank. The higher the chew stacks, the slower the tank moves. The pet pulls the tanks along the walls, not in any real pattern but a sort of drunken weaving. The boss and pet taunt each other constantly about who's who's better, who's doing more damage, etc.

The fight is moving slowly but steadily. You notice a third meter on the boss's portrait. It's red, like rage. But why would a priest have rage? As the fight progresses, the meter fills. Finally, the meter is full but the priest is at 50% health. The priest mind controls the entire raid as he yells, "Your pathetic attempts give me strength! I'M SO ANGRY!" Suddenly, he transforms. The helm isn't just a helm, it seems to be real demon horns growing from the boss. The pet, too, turns into a demon.

The raid is utterly confused. During the transformation members had been attacking each other, a few have dropped, but now the MC has dropped. Both boss and pet are doing massive amounts of damage. The boss is throwing up dots everywhere. One, labeled "seed," explodes over everyone. He even tosses curses everywhere, not just the debuff type, but anger coming from his mouth is not meant for young children. "Haven't you learned to NOT STAND IN THE FIRE," he yells as he casts brings fire down on the heads of the raid.

The pet drops quickly now. Without his pocket healer, he's not so tough. The boss is going down quickly, too, but his damage is so much more powerful than anything you've seen before. The rage meter is dropping. Maybe if it empties he switches back to priest form? You're not certain your healers have it in them to manage through the length of that fight. Burn him, you call, burn him now!

They do. You manage to down him just as he transforms back to his priest form. He makes one last comment to the raid, "Roll for offsets!"


  Art | Epic | Momit Raided
Comments 1Hits: 943  

20.03.2009 20:34:24
Arturio

The raid has moved on. You now enter a room with four mages sitting around a table arguing with each other. Occasionally, one will start crying and a little water elemental will stop by that mage and collect the tears in a jar.

You can't tell what they're discussing. Three don't get to speak much as each time they do, the fourth answers with what looks like a dissertation on mage mechanics. You do catch a bit about fruit flies from him, also. One is a female who seems more fascinated with the water elemental than the discussion at hand. At one point, she gets up and chases the elemental, squealing, "I'm going to catch you, and love you, and squeeze you and name you George." You fear for any pets she may have. The other two remain mostly silent, though one looks very different from the other three. Almost like he's chilling the very air around him. You suggest crowd controlling him since he's obviously unique here.

The tanks approach and aggro. All the mages turn and before the CC can get off, each mage splits off 3 copies of themselves. SIXTEEN MAGES! You don't know which to target. And, ZOMG, the lag!

The raid attempts to aoe the multitude of mages but are continuously interrupted or polymorphed. One of the poly spells turns raid members into a giant taco. They're quickly broken as the mages pelt the raid with arcane blasts, missiles, and the occasional frostbolt.

As the numbers begin to dwindle on the mage copies, one of the mages begins to aoe. It's the strange looking one. A blizzard engulfs half your raid that'd clumped up. They all freeze into giant ice blocks. He's frost! The other mages focus flamestrikes and blizzards on the unfortunate souls.

The other odd part of this fight is that healing spells are not working in this room. The healers try various things but all their healing spells are completely locked out. One of the mages laughs in some sort of accent, "If you won't heal us, you can't heal anybody!"

Luckily for the raid, they're just mages. They have no armor and low hitpoints. The melee tears in and their health drops quickly. Even the healers dps, since they have nothing else to do. The mages try to iceblock but that allows focus fire on one of the other mages. The mages drop like flies and more people survive once the raid stops standing in the blizzards.

Loot is worthless. A couple of tear stained vests and some hearts of darkness. Nobody even knows what those are.


  Art | Epic | Momit Raided
Comments 1Hits: 1385  

19.03.2009 20:46:28
Arturio

After clearing through trash, you reach the next encounter. So you think. The room looks empty. Quizzically, the raid enters the room, slowly looking around. Must be a bug. Or rushed development, someone suggests.

Your tanks continue to inch forward. With a hiss, one is stunned, and the second is being attacked by a cat druid who'd been prowling behind the raid. The tank is dropping fast! When the raid attempts to target him, he transforms into a giant bear...crap.

His name is Sdrawkcabemanym. You have no idea how to pronounce that or what it means. This reinforces your opinion that druids are a crazy bunch.

The bear continues to tear into the tanks. You begin to notice that the bear is talking and that each time he talks the raid is given a debuff. It's stunning the entire raid for a moment, as if they're shocked that those words actually came from somebody's mouth. It's also lowers intellect of the raid with a stacking debuff. Not only is the bear physically beating on the raid, he's messing with its head!

As the fight progresses, you notice a rotation in how the druid operates. He goes cat, then bear, then humanoid (which is the ugliest form you've ever seen). He's dpsing, tanking and healing! AT THE SAME TIME! How can you defeat such a monstrosity?

After a while, the raid manages to drop him while in humanoid form by interrupting his heals. Yet, nobody drops combat...what gives? Impossibly, he battles rezes himself! What can't he do?!

The pressure's on. That debuff is getting out of hand. He switching forms faster than ever. But the raid pulls it off as the last healer loses the last of his mana.

All he drops is a pair of leather pants.


  Momit Raided | Epic | Art
Comments 2Hits: 785  

19.03.2009 14:00:00
Ghalleon


  
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19.03.2009 14:00:00
Ghalleon


  
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19.03.2009 02:24:34
Arturio

The raid walks into the first boss encounter. You're loose, spirits are high. Trash was easy, nobody died. Shamans with bows, what kind of joke is this place?

You encounter a woman. You target her. Her name is Mother. Mother of what? The raid doesn't wait for you to ponder. She's very friendly. She welcomes you to her home, offers you some biscuits, and she goes so far as to offer some free gear enchants. The moment somebody approaches to take her up on this offer, not all raidmates are bright, the fight starts.

The fight is pretty smooth. She casts fireballs, and scorch but not much else. The occasional silence or polymorph and, oddly, random portals in the room that lead to arbitrary places throughout the world. Somebody comments how the raid leader's mother isn't this easy. You all laugh and question his ability with women.

You notice as the fight goes on that Mother's voice gets deeper and screechier. Her pleas to leave her alone get more demanding. At 15% health, everything stops. You question the raid, "anybody else lagging?" "Yeah, we're all stuck," they reply. GG, you think, a wipe to lag.

But it's not lag.

Mother is changing. She surrounds herself in a giant flaming ball that expands quickly. The ball explodes, dealing massive damage to the entire raid. In its place is a giant, pissed off, red dragon! She's Mother of Dragons!

She bellows at you, "I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!" Followed by a great flame breath. Her tail swipes the melee standing behind her and smashes them all into the wall. Your fire casters are suddenly pissed off. She's immune.

Your tank manages to turn her around from the raid but gets more people killed by her tail. She scratches at his shield and his armor. That's going to leave some dents. You can smell his flesh cooking as he bakes inside his plate. The dps pull out that last 15% of damage and she falls, transforming back into her human form.

An epic fight to the start of this raid instance....


  Momit Raided | Epic | Art
Comments 2Hits: 961  

18.03.2009 14:00:00
Tnecniv


  
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12.03.2009 14:00:00
Ghalleon


  
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06.03.2009 14:00:00
Ghalleon


  
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24.02.2009 22:58:05
Glossiet

Work out hard work out strong, don't take steroids or you may lose your dong!


  
Comments 0Hits: 459  

19.02.2009 22:02:51
Arturio

artwork
  
Comments 0Hits: 551  

17.02.2009 14:00:00
Ghalleon


  
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